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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342943">we don't need to slow down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/1to10/pseuds/1to10'>1to10</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Velvet (K-pop Band), TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, each pairing has their own chapter and little plotline, poly au, some other characters show up but nobody else is really major in this story, the first chapter can work as a standalone but the others not really, this was kind of a request and took me way too long</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:54:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/1to10/pseuds/1to10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>sooyoung, sana, joohyun and what happens when they finally intersect</p><p>(how one becomes two and then two becomes three)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bae Joohyun | Irene/Park Sooyoung | Joy, Minatozaki Sana/Bae Joohyun | Irene, Minatozaki Sana/Park Sooyoung | Joy, Park Sooyoung | Joy/Bae Joohyun | Irene/Minatozaki Sana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we don't need to slow down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sooyoung doesn’t think she’s ever seen someone so lovely as she has when she sees Joohyun for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the first month of school when she sees her for the first time picking up one of her students, a student she swore she had already met the mother of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was possible her student had two mothers, of course. But this woman didn’t seem to be wearing any kind of wedding ring like the mother had. She had no idea who the woman was at this point, but the lack of wedding ring was all she needed to make some kind of move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman looks up from a quiet conversation with Sooyoung’s student. Something close to skepticism flashes across her face before she puts on what Sooyoung would call a professional smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re Seohyun’s teacher, correct? Sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier. I’m Joohyun, her aunt. Her mother couldn’t make it today, but I’m her emergency contact.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The name vaguely rings a bell, perhaps Seohyun had mentioned her aunt before. She was a spirited little girl, loved to talk about anything and everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seohyun here is a great kid, but I’m sure you already know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s hard not to be in awe of this woman right now. She looks like she should’ve been a world famous model or something of the sort. Did people just look like this and were completely unaware of the effect they had on the people around them?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun nods briefly, before glancing at Seohyun and back to Sooyoung. Sooyoung finds herself embarrassed by how attracted she is to this woman even though they’ve just met. She wants nothing more than to just ask for her number, but she can’t imagine how terribly foolish that would look right after meeting her in front of all her students and their parents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way Joohyun is looking at her watch, Sooyoung can tell she’s ready to both exit the conversation and the building. Presumably with some place to go after this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, uh, it was nice meeting you Joohyun. Hopefully we’ll see each other again sometime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun’s eyes scan over her once more before she nods, and gives her a polite smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung is unable to think about anything but Joohyun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you might have a crush.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung looks up at Seulgi, continuing to chew her lunch while processing her words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was probably true, even though crush isn’t the word that came to mind. She had spent the few weeks after meeting Joohyun wondering if she’d ever be around again to pick up her niece. It was embarrassing that she had to hide her obvious disappointment when the child’s mother was the one who usually showed up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t help it though. There was just something about that woman. Sure, Joohyun was gorgeous. But there was just something about people like that where you just wanted to get to know them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But...it’s been like a month. Don’t you think she would’ve come and seen you if she had wanted to see you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung frowns. She didn’t want to think of it that way. She had convinced herself that the woman had been busy with her job or something, which had been a fair assumption. But she also hadn’t given much indication as to whether or not she had ever wanted to see Sooyoung again, so maybe Seulgi had a point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Joohyun had someone waiting for her at home, or she just straight up wasn’t interested. But it couldn’t stop Sooyoung from hoping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, when I told you about my embarrassing infatuation with my student’s aunt I was hoping for some good advice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That gets a snort out of Seulgi. “I’m being honest. I don’t believe in destiny or anything like that but maybe if it’s meant to be it’ll happen. Like, you’ll get a sign.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Sooyoung scratches her chin. “Maybe you should’ve been a philosophy teacher instead of a gym teacher.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other girl rolls her eyes with a good natured smile but doesn’t offer anything else. But maybe she was right. Waiting around forever for someone who she may not ever see again was pointless. Sometimes it was just best to lick your wounds and move on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To say that this bar wasn’t her favorite would be a terrible understatement. It had been one fairly close to her apartment but one she had never ventured out to before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t exactly sleazy, but she wasn’t exactly looking for someone to hook up with. If it happened, it happened. It was always a possibility. But she was still having a hard time shaking the woman she hadn’t seen in over a month now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When did she become such a lovesick teenager? It was pathetic. The other woman probably hadn’t thought of her for a single moment since they had parted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knocks back the last half of the beer she had ordered when her eyes start wandering without giving it much thought. She may not have been ready to jump into bed with someone but it doesn’t mean she couldn’t flirt, or maybe even get a number.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes her far too long to realize nobody here is catching her attention when somebody does. It would be almost impossible to notice her among the much taller people around her if not for the fact that it was the one person Sooyoung desperately wanted to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One woman should not be allowed to be this insanely beautiful, she thinks. That kind of beauty needs to be split between at least three people to be even remotely normal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her stomach does this embarrassing little flip before she tries to make a quick game plan in her head. Should she go over and just start talking? Does she bump into her as she walks by and pretends like she hadn’t noticed her? Her brain feels like it’s short circuiting because she doesn’t get a chance to pick a plan when Joohyun pulls up to the bar, not even three seats away from her and attempts to order a drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s admittedly thankful Joohyun doesn’t notice her at that moment. There’s no doubt in her mind she’d say something foolish, stumble over her words. But wasn’t it better than saying nothing?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay. It was decided. No more overthinking this and just go up and do something before she loses her nerve to do anything at all. Time to finish her beer for a little added confidence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sliding up next to the other woman, she still isn’t noticed. Joohyun seems tense, like she’s already got one foot out the door. She can’t say she exactly blames her, seeing as she’s seen her shoot multiple men down in the span of a few minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” She says it as loud as she can without yelling it in her face. The other woman jumps a bit, somehow startled in a packed bar. She turns to Sooyoung, a look of partial confusion passing over her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun’s face scrunches. “I know you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung nods slowly. “You do. Your niece is in my class.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Joohyun’s face lights up with recognition. “That’s right. Her teacher.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Had she already been drinking before she had even gotten there? Sooyoung suspects as much with the slight delay in her words. She doesn’t seem like she’s drunk or anything like that, but she didn’t know the quiet woman she had met all those months ago was the kind to pregame. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s a really sweet kid, you know. She does her work well and is a good listener in class.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said that before, too.” Joohyun takes a short sip of the colorful drink in front of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did. She’s also very polite and quiet. I assume she gets that from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun’s eyebrows raise. Almost as if she’s heard something interesting from Sooyoung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could say that. She’s more like me than her mother, certainly. Seohyun just needs a little time to open up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could we say the same about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung is treading dangerously now. It was borderline flirtation, if not just flat-out. It was absolutely too much too soon, but she had never been great with her impulse control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun doesn’t have another surprised reaction, as if she had seen the lead up to this. She looks like she’s about to say something when Sooyoung feels a buzz in her pocket. She takes her phone out to see that Seulgi is calling her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She feels a brief moment of frustration, looking between Joohyun and her phone when Joohyun nods understandingly. Sooyoung pushes her way out and answers as quickly as she can before the ringing ends.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sooyoung?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is my phone. Did something happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Uh, no, I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out. You hadn’t answered my texts so I figured a call would be the easier way to get your attention.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Sooyoung is really frustrated. Maybe not entirely at Seulgi, but more so at her timing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seulgi, you would not believe who I just ran into.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Um...your most recent ex?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She rubs her face. “Funny, but no. But it’s the woman I met back when she came to pick her niece up from my class. I finally went to that stupid bar by my apartment and she showed up. I think this is my sign, the one you talked about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a pause, followed by a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sooyoung, when I said that I was trying to get you to move on. Now you know I’ll support you no matter what you do, but be careful. This isn’t a random person you met on a dating app. If something bad happens between you two it could have consequences for your career.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung wanted to grumble about Seulgi sounding like a nag but there was nothing she said that was incorrect. One wrong move and a call to her boss and she could be in hot water. But there was something about this woman that just drew her in, she couldn’t but want to be closer especially now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I gotta go, Seul. I’ll text you later.” She hangs up quickly, hoping to find Joohyun before she could go home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as she turns around to head back inside, she finds herself colliding with the person walking out the door. She steps back to apologize when she sees Joohyun standing before her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun looks unsure for a minute before nodding. “I should probably get back. I just moved close by and thought I should see what it was like here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Sooyoung is stupid and hopeful and ridiculous but she can’t help but think of the timing of it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you taking a cab?” She asks it trying to hide her hopefulness that there was a chance she’d be walking home and that she could accompany her. The alcohol in her system not doing much to trample her stupid romanticism.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, someone is actually picking me up. A friend.” Her gaze wanders off into the distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She feels Joohyun’s eyes on her. Something about the look is calculating, but not coldly. There’s something about her that is just so interesting to Sooyoung. She has zero idea what she’s thinking, and maybe that’s part of the intrigue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sleek black car pulls up and as soon as Joohyun notices she gives whoever is driving a quick wave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung realizes she’s been lucky up until this moment, even just having one more chance to talk to this woman. Who knows if she’d get any more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to say, uh…,” she clears her throat. “It was nice talking to you again. Get home safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So stupid, she thinks. A chance to land something amazing and she blows it with the simplest thing she could think of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The situation has now become a total write off to her, and then she notices Joohyun’s face. A smile. A first from her in Sooyoung’s presence. It’s warm, and makes Sooyoung feel a little less dumb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too.” It’s all Joohyun says before climbing into the car. Sooyoung stays glued to her spot, watching the car go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She only waits a minute before shoving her hands in her pocket, and realizing she needs to go back inside and pay her tab before going back home. When did having a crush get so complicated?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s only a week later and she finds herself at the same bar. Although this time, she’s mind numbingly sober. Just in case someone happens to appear again. That small off chance is something she’ll have to account for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It isn’t something she can force, or wants to force. They just happen to have a place in common outside of a professional setting. If the other woman didn’t show up then she’d have to consider finding some kind of rebound hookup for tonight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a small sip of her soda, she starts tapping and scrolling through her phone to pass the time. If nobody was gonna offer to buy her a drink or hit on her to pass the time then it wouldn’t hurt for her to at least check to make sure she hadn’t missed any important work emails.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do all teachers go out as much as you do or is this exclusive to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung peeks over her shoulder at the source of the voice, smiling. Joohyun has a single brow raised, but there’s a hint of amusement to her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve seen me a total of one other time, you’ve just never seen any other teacher go out so you assume twice is a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun shrugs. “Maybe so.” She moves up to the bar, pressed in close to Sooyoung because of the lack of space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung can feel her face heating up because of the sudden proximity. How embarrassing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I buy you a drink?” Okay, maybe right to the point rather quickly but it seemed like the polite thing to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She receives a polite headshake in reply. “That’s okay, you don’t have to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Sooyoung can properly protest and say it wouldn’t be a problem at all, Joohyun has already waved down a bartender and started to order her own drink. There was no way that wasn’t an intentional wall going straight up. Well played on Joohyun’s part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to stick out, Sooyoung orders her own drink. It doesn’t take her long to realize that things are awkward. Like school age dance levels of awkward. If Joohyun wasn’t interested then why hadn’t she left yet? Did she just want to be friends of some sort?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you do for a living?” Start off simple, it couldn’t hurt to try.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a real estate agent. Nothing very interesting,” she says plainly while swirling her drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I find that very interesting actually. I definitely didn’t peg you as a sales person. You’re not very...outgoing?” She winces as the last word comes out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun snorts, thankfully seeming more amused than offended. “I’m not. But that’s me off the clock. Me off the clock is different from me as a worker, and I’m very good at what I do.” She gives Sooyoung a quick look up and down. “I’d probably be able to convince you to find a new place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t doubt that, but with you specifically I don’t think it’d take very much convincing at all.” There. It’s out there now. She needs to make it so blatantly obvious she’s flirting that Joohyun can’t interpret it any other way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other woman’s eyebrows raise. She turns her gaze away from Sooyoung before bringing her glass to her lips and drinking slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like being a teacher?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, so no rejection, or flirting in return. But flat out ignoring her? Sooyoung really didn’t understand this woman. Not even a little bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung clears her throat. “Yeah, I do. It can be a little tiring sometimes. Especially when the kids all decide at once they want to be a handful. But it’s really rewarding, and I wouldn’t change my career choice for anything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gets a hum in reply. “That’s nice. I’m not that good with kids, so I don’t think I could do what you do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm, maybe you could,” Sooyoung taps her chin thoughtfully. “Our jobs are kind of similar, right? We’re both having to convince people that we know best. You have to convince people to buy nice houses, I have to convince a bunch of kids who want to color to instead sit through a lesson plan. Totally the same thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That gets a dry laugh out of Joohyun, but it’s not humorless. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a way with words?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung can’t help but grin. “Maybe once or twice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, it starts like that. And it keeps going exactly like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s weekly, them meeting up at that particular bar. It’s unspoken as well. There’s never a previous plan, they both just show up and never speak about it how they got to this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere around the fourth time they exchange contact information, but it’s done in the context of needing to contact Joohyun for professional related things, like looking for a new place or something to do with Seohyun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung still flirts. Nothing over the top, but never so subtle that Joohyun would be able to miss it. And there’s never a rejection, and never an acknowledgement. Sooyoung doesn’t know what it means, really. She almost wishes Joohyun would just tell her to go to hell or something, because that would be easier than whatever this is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, this game they play goes on for months. Past Chuseok, past Christmas. It’s February and she can’t find a way to disengage from this complicated tangle of feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s sitting at the bar alone this time when she feels a surprise hand on her back. She bristles, turning to give this person a rightful chewing out when she realizes it’s Joohyun’s surprised face looking back at her. Right, she definitely looks pissed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately, her face softens with the realization. “Hi, sorry. I thought you were some sleeze putting his hands on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that not okay for me either?” Joohyun looks genuinely concerned at the thought of overstepping with Sooyoung. How ridiculous that was in their situation. She had been the one afraid of overstepping more than anything. Joohyun’s gradual physical contact with her was more than welcome.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! It was definitely okay. You're not some random, so it's totally fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun doesn’t say anything, but gives a slow nod of acknowledgement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well I have some news. I think I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but do you remember that client with the property I was trying very hard to close with? Well, earlier today I finally closed with them! So, I think we should celebrate tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes Sooyoung only a minute to realize the smell of alcohol already on Joohyun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never took you for a pregamer,” Sooyoung jokes in a faux serious tone. “Maybe you’re wilder than I thought you were.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun tilts her head, a moment passing before she catches on. “Oh! You mean drinking before I got here? Some of my friends wanted to celebrate, but I told them I couldn’t stay long because I already had plans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The implication hits her straight in the gut. Joohyun thought of her highly enough to consider this thing they do an actual concrete plan? She left plans with her actual friends to be with her? If she hadn’t been all kinds of mixed up about this before, then she definitely was now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With her ever so slight inebriation, Joohyun is pressed in closer than she usually is. She wraps a hand around Sooyoung’s arm and Sooyoung feels warm just from the simple contact alone. Joohyun really has no idea the effect she has on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they have their drinks ordered, they make their way to a dimly lit table in the corner. They talk all night, with ease. Even after the bar closes, they find themselves walking home together in a comfortable silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun’s hand is still wrapped tightly around the other woman’s arm as they walk. It feels right to Sooyoung, like this is what she wants to spend every day doing. Simple things like having Joohyun hang on her arm, or even hold hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t notice right away when they arrive at Joohyun’s apartment with Sooyoung trying to stay in this moment they’re sharing. Joohyun tugs on her arm, forcing her to look up. It’s only when she sees just how nice (and probably expensive) the building in front of them is that she realizes this is her stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun looks up at her briefly before turning away and towards the building. “This is my place. So…,” she slowly detaches herself from Sooyoung’s arm, and Sooyoung misses the contact the moment it’s gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Sooyoung clears her throat. “I had a good time tonight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did too…,” it’s the second time Joohyun trails off. Sooyoung doesn’t know what it is or why, but she knows Joohyun is holding something back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In most other scenarios, awkward small talk like this would’ve come after a date. It had felt like a date too, a real one. Maybe this was actually her now or never moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, Joohyun…,” she inhales deeply when Joohyun turns back to look at her curiously. “I really liked talking with you tonight. A lot. I always do, actually. I look forward to seeing you, every week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun for some reason seems genuinely surprised at how heartfelt the words coming out of Sooyoung were. Sooyoung’s stomach can’t help but twist painfully when she watches Joohyun’s face go from shocked to sympathetic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I liked talking with you too,” she inhales sharply, almost wincing as she finishes. “I’m glad we started talking after I bumped into you, because I value our friendship a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even giving herself that short window of time to brace herself didn’t take away from the sting. Friendship. It wasn’t that Sooyoung didn’t think they had one, but hearing it out loud just made it real. Friendship was all she wanted, and that was clear now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung bites the inside of her cheek, trying to hide her disappointment. It wasn’t wrong to feel hurt for being rejected after trying to hint at something, but it still made her feel guilty. She couldn’t blame Joohyun for not feeling the same way. It was what it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, yeah. I value it too,” she mentally chastises herself for how short she sounds even though she knows it’s to stop herself from accidentally becoming too emotional. She turns around, facing in the direction of the way she needed to walk to get back to her place. “I’ll see you around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything in her wants to throw one last look over her shoulder, just to know for sure that Joohyun isn’t watching her go. But it just feels pointless now. She walks all the way home without looking back once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Humiliated doesn’t seem like the right word, but she definitely feels stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung finds herself caught in this weird limbo of emotions. She’s not mad at Joohyun, she can’t be. The other woman didn’t do anything wrong. She didn’t lead her on, mostly because she didn’t do much of anything really when it came to Sooyoung trying to hint at something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So she isn’t angry, definitely not that. But maybe she was allowed to be a little confused, or even slightly hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had reasoned with herself for days that in any circumstances, getting shot down hurt. Even if the person had seemingly tried to let them down the easiest way possible. And even when the other person had affirmed that they did have something, it just wasn’t the something that she wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was stupid, but the only thing Sooyoung could think of was to just stop going to the bar. If Joohyun messaged her and asked her, which she doubted, she would simply say she was too busy now to come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, she’d stop being hurt and they could continue the friendship that Sooyoung genuinely did care about. But for now, staying away seemed like the best option. Maybe the only option that could help her move on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung has her bag of groceries hugged to her side when she reaches to dig her keys out of her pocket with her free hand. What she doesn’t expect is to see Joohyun sitting on her steps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t say anything, waiting for Joohyun to offer an explanation as to why she was waiting for her there. But Joohyun doesn’t answer right away. Her face has frustration etched across it, nails digging into her palms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stopped coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung squints at her. “To the bar?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A huff. “Yes. You stopped coming, you stopped messaging me. I don’t understand what changed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was this woman insane? “Isn’t that what you wanted? You had to know I wanted more, and you very obviously did not.” She sets down her bag of groceries, realizing this conversation probably wouldn’t end in the next few seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of this made sense to her. Joohyun was so hot and cold with her, no person in their right mind would take that as a sign to try and move forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out as if she’s stopping herself at the last second. Her face screws up even more, the frustration coming off her in waves. But Sooyoung doesn’t understand it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I flirted with you, constantly. But you were the one who shut me down, you never reciprocated. What else was I supposed to do? Force my feelings onto you and make you hate me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She desperately wants Joohyun to say something, to offer some kind of explanation that’ll clear things up. She doesn’t need her to return her feelings, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Joohyun just stares at her, and she has to pretend this doesn’t hurt. She has to pretend that she didn’t get her hopes up for nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I just...it’s fine. I should’ve told you I wasn’t going to come anymore but I wasn’t ready to be friends and didn’t think you’d care so much that you’d show up here. So I’m sorry for that. But I’m still not ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung tries to believe this won’t be the last time she sees Joohyun, standing there in silence and unable to give her any type of closure. But she can’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lets out the breath she had been unknowingly holding in and turns around to regain her composure momentarily before she can grab her bag and make her way inside her apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What? Sooyoung goes to ask Joohyun what the hell she means when she feels a pair of hands on her shoulders turning her around. She doesn’t get a moment to ask before she’s being pulled in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She blinks, her brain still attempting to catch up with Joohyun’s lips against hers. Not wanting to give her the wrong idea, she reaches forward and cups her face to deepen the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a lot to still be figured out, a lot that Joohyun needs to explain to her. But right now all she can think about is how good this feels, and how right it is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It ends all too suddenly when Joohyun pulls back, scanning her intensely. Her hands don’t leave Sooyoung’s shoulders, but Sooyoung moves her own hands down to Joohyun’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do care about you. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung gives her a small smile, not wanting her to feel guilty for whatever reason it she had held back until now. She gives Joohyun’s arm a soft squeeze of reassurance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Now that I know you do, we can talk. Figure things out, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun gives a frantic nod, but her grip on Sooyoung relaxes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung smiles softly at her, pulling away only to grab her bag of groceries. Joohyun looks almost lost standing there by herself, unsure of what to do now with herself. But Sooyoung doesn’t want to waste another moment. With keys jingling in her right hand, she clears her throat before gesturing up at her apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you wanna come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes all of two seconds for Joohyun to say yes and follow along after her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Joohyun follows closely behind, Sooyoung can’t help but notice how nervous Joohyun seems to be as they enter her apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung motions towards the couch and Joohyun awkwardly makes her way over before sitting down while Sooyoung tries to quickly put her groceries away so they can talk without anything else in the way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t miss how Joohyun is nervously wringing her hands and how she almost looks like she’d rather be anyway but here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a nice apartment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, at least she’s trying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. You want something to drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun doesn’t respond but Sooyoung notices a frantic head shake out of the corner of her eye. She realizes it’s time to stop stalling, even unintentionally. The last of her groceries are quickly stored away when she moves to sit next to Joohyun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a bit of distance she knows she has to maintain. She doesn’t want to initiate some kind of physical contact and scare Joohyun off immediately, which she feels there’s quite a possibility of. But she doesn’t want to sit so far away that Joohyun can feel the distance. Far enough for safety, close enough for comfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. For the mixed signals. I didn’t mean to confuse you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun starting without needing a push surprises Sooyoung, but she’s okay with being surprised today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Can I ask why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hesitance appears on Joohyun’s face and Sooyoung is afraid she might’ve pushed too far, but Joohyun pushes on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never really talked about my ex before, for a reason. But when I met you I couldn’t help but be reminded of her. All the best parts at least. She was charming, sweet, funny. I thought we were everything to each other, but that was...one sided.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She trails off and Sooyoung’s attention is yet again grabbed by the nervous movements of the Joohyun’s hand against her knee. If Joohyun can be brave today, then so can Sooyoung. Her hand finds its way to the top of Joohyun’s, gently as she can. Joohyun’s head snaps to her, searching for something even though Sooyoung isn’t quite sure what. All Sooyoung can do is give her a soft smile, and nod her reassurance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A long sigh finds its way out of Joohyun. “I loved her a lot. But it wasn’t the same for her. The things she didn’t find in me, she found in other people. I didn’t know until it had been going on for about a year. She apologized but didn’t seem all that sorry. Then it was just over. She was able to walk away with her dignity, and I was left with nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ouch. That explains essentially everything, Sooyoung thinks to herself. She couldn’t exactly blame Joohyun for not wanting to jump in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you went through that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun shakes her head. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. Any of it. I shouldn’t have likened you to her based on my past experiences, but it was hard not to. It always starts good and then it’s just...not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you,” she blurts it out before she can stop herself. “A lot. I like you a lot. I know that doesn’t sound like much but it’s true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun is a little surprised, but nothing on her face seems to want to discourage Sooyoung from pressing on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t predict what will happen with us years from now, or next week, or even tomorrow. But I know that I like you and that I’m not the type of person that would hurt you like that.” She takes a deep breath, suddenly feeling very embarrassed and very vulnerable. “That’s all I can give to you right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face definitely has to be some shade of red right now. She doesn’t even remember the last time she had been this open with someone. Apparently people who made her feel things also made her ramble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older woman’s serious face turns to a softer one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, we’d be able to take things slow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sooyoung can’t help the stupid smile that spreads across her face. “Totally. Day by day, if that’s what you want. And there’ll be no pressure at all, for either of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun doesn’t waste any more time before leaning in for a kiss. Sooyoung isn’t entirely caught off guard this time though, and is able to reciprocate rather quickly. She can’t help but smile into the kiss, being so stupidly happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being the first to pull away, Sooyoung can’t help but notice the warm look on the other woman’s face as she looks at her. This felt right, to both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...does that mean you’ve had a thing for me the entire time? Like the whole time I was flirting with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joohyun’s cheeks turn red and she rolls her eyes before gently playfully hitting Sooyoung on the arm. “Can you not ruin a nice moment? Am I asking for too much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All Sooyoung can do is laugh as she pulls Joohyun into another kiss.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was based on a semi request from someone. never really wrote anything poly related before so thought i'd give it a try after seeing some prompts.</p><p>song for this chapter is falling autumn by alayna</p></blockquote></div></div>
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